I’m writing a different post this time. Not because I don’t have new designs or sketches to share with you, on the contrary, I have a lot more to post and share. However, it’s been a while since I wanted to share something different, more valuable than just post my paintings and the paints I used to paint them.
I used to read since I first learned how to read. English is not my native language, but the more books I read, the more I loved the this language. But up until few years ago, most of what I read were novels and short stories. My favorite genre has always been fantasy and thriller so you can find different fantasy novels on my shelf.
Few years ago, since establishing my own business, I decided to read more nonfiction books. At first, I found them a little bit hard to read since they were realistic more than the novels I read (obviously) but little by little I began to favor nonfiction books.
Whenever I visit a bookstore, I check out the nonfiction books section then move on to the novels to see what’s new. More importantly, I’m writing this blog post to write about a particular book that I read and found it really useful. It’s called ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ by John Gray. Perhaps I’m the last person to read it but still reading it late is better than never. I saw it million times before and attempted few attempts at reading it but since it was nonfiction I didn’t know how valuable it was until I finally decided to read it last year. And the other reason was that I thought that as long as I was single it wasn’t necessary to read it until I get engaged at least, lol. But I was completely wrong. We’re living in a society so knowing how to deal with men has nothing to do with being single or married.
It was one of the lightest and fun books that I read in a while. I don’t remember exactly how many days it took me but I was determined to finish reading it as fast as possible. And as soon as I finished reading it, I started realizing why men behaved the way the did. I practiced it silently few times to find that the tips and explanations that John Gray mentioned were on point. I started noticing and understood men behavior more than I ever did. And from this book, I decided to read similar books especially the ones related to relationships and the like.
I don’t have much experience in dealing with men in general but I did deal with them since university days. But still, I don’t have to deal with strange men to understand the book or apply the tips he mentioned. We all are part of a family, so we have fathers and brothers. That’s where you start practicing before dealing with other men. That’s what I believe.
Throughout the years, shyness always got the best of me. That’s the one trait that I couldn’t and can’t get over completely and it’s fine, but if it subsides a bit, I believe I have more opportunities to express myself naturally. It’s true that I’m not as shy as I used to, but what stops me from dealing with men in general is not knowing how to exactly start a conversation with them. You know when you’re stuck not knowing whether what you’ll say is all right or not, that’s what I feel whenever I’m having a conversation. Also, I consulate get stuck in the middle of the conversation not knowing what else to say or ask. Sometimes, you say things spontaneously but the person in front of you misunderstand or misinterpret what you’re trying to say. So for years I became extra careful as to what to say and whom to speak to. There were a lot of times when I remained silent hiding most of my thoughts and what I wanted to say so that no one misinterpret me. However, what I realized was it wasn’t wrong to express yourself, and it wasn’t wrong to say what you have in mind, rather, the wrong thing is to remain silent for this will create a bigger misunderstanding.
Being careful is a must but also being a little bit spontaneous and natural is a plus. John Gray opened up my mind to learn more about relationships in general as well as the art of conversation. Those things that I needed to read about years ago but I always thought that it wasn’t that important to dive into such books. I always thought that we all know how to socialize with others without the help of such books but I was completely wrong. We go through different experiences and encounter people every single day. You won’t get the answers you need unless you dive into the essence of your problem (whatever problem you have). If you have problems in relationships for instance, try reading these helpful books or reach out to a specialized person rather than complaint about it to others all the time. When you deal with your problems this way, you will get over them faster I believe because you focused your energy on solving your problem than complaining to friends and others and at the end of the day you find yourself drained out of energy. Cry and mourn, it’s not wrong but get up on your feet and see where’s the fault and start solving your problem.
If you haven’t read the book I do recommend it for you guys. It’ll show you some of the aspects you’re missing in your relationship. You’ll understand more why your man is acting the way he does enough that you almost won’t get frustrated all the time.